The Story from the Other Side Revised

Original: Telling the story from a female's point of view does impact the story in many ways and shows new leadership and way to see it from a different point of view. The fact that Persepolis is told from a female's point of view does impact the story.

Revised: When you hear the point of view from a female it completely changes your thought on that specific time or event in ways that females experienced different things then men did, including how they must act and dress. In addition, the fact that Persepolis is told from a female's point of view shows a new found leadership in women and that they are now able to tell there side of the story and become more independent and have more freedom.

In my first submission it was way to general and broad. I didn't get into detail on what I really thought and just put the points on the paper that I was trying to make. Reading over my first submission, I had mixed feelings on how I felt about it. I don't think it was terrible, but I think that I could've improved by not being as broad and being more specific. This experience will help me in the next in-class essay because I have now learned how to write a successful in-class essay by going more into details.